The Pleasure of Being Frugal

For a long time, I thought being labeled as "frugal" was a bad thing.

I grew up in Ethiopia, and if you know anything about Gurage culture, my ethnic group you know the jokes. We’re known (and sometimes teased) for being too good with money. People would make comments about your frugality or say something about your "guragenet" if you skipped what seemed like unnecessary spending. And while I was internally proud of my roots, But after I started earning my own income, I carried quiet shame.

I remember worrying people would see me as “too frugal” if I didn’t spend on this or buy that. Sometimes, I found myself shying away from the saving habits and the “live below your means” mindset I learned from my dad and even engaged in unnecessary spending just so I could avoid being judged.

There seemed to be this invisible script in society that kept playing in my head; one I started internalizing early on: if you budget, plan ahead, or say no to spending (especially when others are spending), you’ll come across as greedy, stingy, or cheap.

In both Ethiopian and American cultures, high consumption is often equated with abundance, joy, generosity, fun, and the “good life.” And to make matters worse, social media only amplifies that narrative.

So even though frugality was in my bones, I learned to hide it.

Even my now-husband, back when we were dating, once told me, “You’re not like Gurage people.” And I took that as a compliment. That meant I had masked my values well. But looking back, I was downplaying the very principles that shaped me because I had internalized the lie that being frugal meant being greedy, boring, joyless or cheap.

But that’s not true.

So, Why Am I Sharing This?

During a coaching session, one of my clients said something that stopped me in my tracks. When I asked her why she made a big purchase while drowning in debt, she said:

“Because I don’t want to be frugal.”

That hit me hard. I realized this belief—that frugal means cheap—isn't just mine or hers. It's widespread.

So I went deeper. I researched, read books, and reframed what frugality really is.

What Does “Frugal” Really Mean?

Here’s what I found: the word frugal has been misunderstood for far too long.

We think frugal means stingy, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

According to Webster’s Dictionary, frugal means:

“Careful in the use of one's money or resources.”

Oxford Dictionary defines it as:

“Economical with regard to money or food.”

In short, frugality is not about deprivation, it’s about not being wasteful. It’s about using what you already have wisely and with intention.

One of my favorite books on this topic is, in their book Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominquez. They defined frugality as:

“Enjoying what we have. If you have ten dresses and still feel like you have nothing to wear, you maybe a compulsive shopper-the thrill of getting is greater than the joy of having and using. But if you have ten dresses and have enjoyed wearing all of them for years, you are frugal”

They explain that waste doesn’t come from how much you own—it comes from the inability to enjoy what you already have.

So frugality isn’t about restriction. It’s about freedom, freedom from excess, from pressure, and from living according to someone else’s standards. It's about freedom to live in alignment with your own values.

Frugal vs. Cheap?

Let’s get this straight:

• Not tipping after great service? Cheap.

• Wearing what you already own to a party instead of buying something new? Frugal.

In The Millionaire Next Door, the authors found that frugality is the foundation of wealth-building. Many millionaires didn’t get there by earning the most they got there by being intentional with what they had. In other words: they built wealth by being frugal.

What Frugality Means to Me

To me, being frugal means:

• Being intentional with money

• Spending on what truly matters

• Knowing when you have enough

• Building wealth that lasts

One tool that’s helped me stay aligned with this is keeping a simple monthly budget planner — nothing fancy, just a place to track my spending habits, help me stick to my budgeting goals and remind myself of my priorities.

And I say this with pride: I’m grateful my dad taught me this principles.

Coming from Gurage culture, I’ve embraced the discipline, wisdom, and freedom that come with frugality. What I once felt shy about, I now wear with pride. It’s a legacy I’m honored to carry and one I hope to pass down to the next generation.

The world has much to learn from it.

So, Are You Ready?

To start spending with purpose?

To find joy in enough?

To stop living for other people’s approval and start building lasting wealth?

If you’re ready to start your frugal journey, I recommend beginning with Your Money or Your Life and The Millionaire Next Door. They changed the way I think about money, and I believe they’ll do the same for you.

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